Neglect

Not the

Gift that is

in Thee

Well, last month was the first month in over a year that I missed posting on my blog. It was just a “blah” month and I was want of inspiration or creative flow. I still am not on top of game, but I was going through some of my journal entries from this past 12 months as I always do at the close of each year and ran across the following post…I enjoyed reading it myself and thought I blog it today. I always forget how much I enjoy journaling when I’m out of the loop, but I do love going back over my writing each year…it’s amazing how those words on the page take me right back to that moment like a time machine. Enjoy

9/6/11 “Writing once again…it’s a writer’s life they say. Practice capturing the moments and putting them on paper. Like snatching fireflies from the air and popping them quickly into your glass jar for safe-keeping. Thoughts in a jar…so you may peer at them and see if they light up. Some stay dark and must be released into the night until they find their light.

A writer’s life it is then! The dark and the light of it! The light is in the freedom and creative spark that flares between pen and page. The dark of it… the critical voice that subdues your mind and your hand. It makes you question your gift and tries to force the beautiful voice of your soul into silence. Many times for me…it wins. But on days like these…I overcome.

The battle wears on, the dark and light…to write or not to write.

But to not write is to suffocate the soul… and to write…it’s many days a daunting task to face the enemy within. Why the war within…I don’t know if I’ll ever understand.

So maybe the question is…Why Write?

To express yourself? To find yourself?

To make a difference? To be remembered after your gone?

To be published? To be affirmed?

For me I suppose it’s about all that and more. But I must admit…the idea of writing to create wealth, and income and stream of resource to fuel my hope & desires lures me in. I am too fearful to believe that would ever actually happen, but the dream dallies around the edges of my mind like a beautiful dancer…just out of reach.

I ask myself…Does this take away from the purity of my writing? Does it discolor the soul of my words or my gift? I think not…it just gives me one more reason to write! lol

The rich sweetness of muscadines on the vine wafting through the aire, the playful paw of my kitten at these pages, the small red & white checkered squares covering my picnic table and the irritating pinch of a tiny black ant upon my skin…

The provocative dance between my thoughts and my page, the contented purr of my curious tabby, the gentle stillness of the air as the golden setting sun casts its final blanket of light across the pasture and the happy blue & white simplicity of my favorite pen as it captures my words, these moments and my life upon the paper.

This is my joy in writing… and to share the joy in that moment with another human being…to inspire, to enlighten, to connect at a place below the surface…that is wealth of soul. And on those days when I overcome the resistance…the excuses…and rediscover my quiet passion….I remember…this is why I write. I write because I love it…and after the work is done….I have captured part of myself in the written word…and very few things seem to be quite as satisfying as that.”

Cheers to words on a page!

kristi jayne