Time To Fly

I escaped to be with Nature today…

It’s a Sunday afternoon and my husband took my son to see something called The Lost Sea, so I decided to grab a towel, a notebook and a sandwich and head to the water’s edge.

Came here to think….to write…and to just BE.

The road is close by and there are a lot of motorcycles out enjoying the afternoon as well.  The river is only a few feet away on the other side of me.  The water is cold like ice and takes your breathe away.  The current is really strong too, so only go in to cool off and get right back out again…lol.    Their is quite a bit of cloud cover which I am grateful for, as the sun is blistering when it peeks out.  It’s a lovely day to sit beside the water and think.

Something is rumbling around inside my head and my heart.  Something that I have to explore and identify.  It’s bothersome, like a splinter in your finger.  It’s irritating, like a small gnat buzzing around your face.

It’s about my life, about my mindset & beliefs.  It’s about my reading and research, writing and thinking.

I’ve done so much…I feel I’ve really changed on the inside, inside my head especially.  I’ve busted SO many limiting beliefs and moved forward by leaps and bounds emotionally and mentally.  But now, I need to see all those things begin to manifesting themselves in my outer life. I want to see my life evolve and change into more of what I want and much less of what I don’t want.

I need to see my outer reality reflect my inner reality.

I want to feel more in control.  I want to take more action and put into play and into practice all these amazing things I have learned in the past 10 months.

It may sound random or trite…but I want my own jet ski! Like the people I see out there on river enjoying the water and the sun and the air and the freedom right this moment.  I am ready to stop waiting around on other people to make things happen for me, that’s a bad plan.  I’m tired of feeling powerless and hopeless to get what I desire.

I’m tired of the excuses and the fear inside me, holding me back, distracting me and stealing my motivation.

I am to the place in my life where I need to feel more in control of what I am getting out of my life.  And there is only one person that can change that…me.

Jordan Adler’s  words about hang-gliding and preparing for that first flight come to mind.  At some point…you’ve learned everything you can about “how” to do it and there comes a moment when you’ve got to take a running start, straight towards the jump-off point and you’ve just gotta do it… for yourself.

You have to take a running leap and jump!

Trusting that all you have learned, all your preparation and all your equipment you’ve gathered will be there supporting you and help you take flight.

That’s where I must be…at that point…and it’s SCARY.

But it’s what before me.

The place where I wanna go…

I can no longer use my feet to carry me there…

I must use my wings.

There is only ONE way to get where I’m going…

I have to fly.

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