Staying Real

This past week has been a real struggle.

I wish I could write another cheery encouragement to you saying things are going great and my online journey is beautiful, but I can’t.  Well, I could…and actually I thought about pushing aside the reality of where I am right now and giving you some sage advice on being happy and lovin’ life, but I won’t.

One of the things I want to do with this blog is to stay real.

Staying real in a world of “unrealistic” television, flashy ads on billboards and perfectly perfect models on magazine covers combined with a culture that promotes, “never let ’em see you sweat”, is no small order, at least not for me.

I’ve found that being “real” though,  is what I want and I believe what this world desperately needs, at least those of us who are still human.

The brilliant Everett Bogue, one of my favorite blogs to read, has been doing a provocative series of posts on superhumans, drones and zombies.  I don’t have time to restate the whole thing here but its very thought-provoking and if you want to real the whole article visit www.farbeyondthestars.com and give it a look.

At any rate, part of his point is that so many of us “humans” have been turned into things that aren’t real and that aren’t really living, ie. drones and zombies, by a fake world that wants to define our reality.  Everett states his articles are simple metaphors, but its really easy to forget that when you start reading because somewhere deep inside alot of us, it feels like the truth.

In light of those thoughts, I choose to stay real in this post in hopes of connecting with my readers at a much deeper level than the sticky-sweet, superficial surface of this current culture.  To be honest I’m tired of strapping on masks and fake smiles in order to appear that I have it all together or that I’m somehow better because I never show my struggles, or worse yet, pretend that I don’t have any.

That only keeps us all stuck in the crazy cycles we’re beyond tired of.

But my struggle has been very real this week.  My doubts, I hate to admit, have overwhelmed me.  I wanted to quit, throw in the proverbial towel and to be honest, for several days last week, I did. 

I lost my drive to write, to share. I couldn’t even turn on the internet.  My creative spark got doused and a big, dark cloud wrapped itself around me and I almost completely gave up.  I felt I couldn’t share my struggle on this blog, too depressing.  Who would want to read that?

But I realized I couldn’t pretend and write something from my head and leave out my heart and the truth of my condition.  So, I decided to take a risk (shiver) and step way out of my comfort zone in the chance that these genuine, honest words would connect with someone right where they are too.

Fortunately, yesterday morning things began to change for me.  They changed because of a phone call.  The person at the other end of the line heard the struggle in my voice and came to my rescue.  He validated the hard place I was in, empathized because he’d been there before and then reminded me why I started this in the first place.

I began this to make a difference, to reach out to people through words and connect with them at a real level and help them grow.

My writing is how I let the world in.

Sometimes, reading other people’s writing is the most powerful and safe way that I am able to open up and see myself for what I really am. The good, the bad, the beautiful & the unsure.

Because, for some reason,  if someone else has felt that way, then maybe what I’m feeling, what I’m going through is only human, and that somehow makes me feel relieved… and it’s easier to embrace.  Maybe these words will be that for you too.

And sometimes words have a way of penetrating the surface of our lives and  they can go deep.

They go deep and are able to connect with what’s real inside me.  Inside of us.

And that’s where we change

That’s where we grow.

BTW, the person on the other end of that phone call was my husband.  He helped relight my spark, told me he believed in what I’m doing and that he believed people need what I have to say.  Those words penetrated my dark funk, went deep and this morning I decided to keep climbing.

Thank you Honey…

My climb this past week has involved wading through the cold, desolate swamp of discouragement and doubt.  And sometimes in that  dark swamp, we get stuck and find ourselves even wallowing in it.

I’ve decided that’s ok.  That’s what’s real.

The journey,in all it’s beauty and all it’s misery, is what’s real.  But what’s even more real than that are the relationships around you, which anchor you in life’s storms and which pull you out of all life’s murky swamps.

Here’s to Staying Real,

Kristi

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